Seven Cardinal Rules For Negotiations And Life 🎯

By Keld Jensen

Make peace with your past – so it won’t disturb your present.
Avoid creating enemies. Work in SMARTnership – make sure your opponents are successful and help them help you. If you are forced into a Zero-sum game, be absolutely certain you will win. Be sure you are willing to pay the price and prepare for revenge from the opponent! Everyone can’t love us, but dealing with enemies requires resources and energy.
What other people think of you – is none of your business.

You should never guess or assume in life or negotiation. You don’t know what your counterpart thinks of you. Perhaps they are afraid of you but come through as aggressive. Perhaps your opponent feels superior but acts humble. You will probably never know! Don’t focus on others opinions of you. Do you know why? They could very well be wrong!
Time heals almost everything – give it time.

Don’t be stuck in your past, your mistakes or hiccups. Time goes by and you will discover that the world is not turning around you or your opponent for that matter. Most problems are reduced over time. Something that seems unbeatable one day is an easy concur the next.
No one is in charge – of your happiness. Except you!

Don’t complain what you feel your opponent is doing to you. They can’t do anything that you will not accept them to do. You cannot feel less worthy, less happy, less important or less successful because of the opponent. It is all based in yourself. No one is in charge of your feelings but yourself.
Don’t compare your life to others – and don’t judge them. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

Don’t wonder why the opponent makes the decisions they do. Don’t guess or assume why they say or do something in a certain way. Your life is not theirs. We are approximately 6 billion people in this wonderful place called earth, and we ALL have very different lives. What creates value to you and makes sense in your world, doesn’t necessarily make sense or create value in your opponent’s lives.
Stop thinking too much – it’s all right not to know all the answers. They will come to you when you least expect it.

Some expert’s claim that the best decision is made in less than 146 seconds, and that the quality of a decision is not improved over time!
Preparation is KING – not to prepare for live or negotiation is the same as preparing for failure. Just like the airline pilot who prior to every flight goes through a checklist. You should do exactly the same before a meeting or negotiations. This relieves you of thinking during the actual meeting and creates extra energy to be creative.
Smile – you don’t own all the problems in the world.

Be positive – the stars, new worlds, the ocean and new territories were never found by the pessimist or negative individuals. Believe in your opponent and fellow human being. Do only to others what you want others to do to you in negotiations as well as in life. Any demand or request that you raise to your counterpart – think of how you would react if your counterpart demanded or requested that of you?
Twitter, Facebook, or visit to sign up for my newsletter, “Finding SMARTnership.” Author of The Trust Factor: Negotiating in SMARTnership.


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