Author: Anders Christian Hjort 😄
I think we have all experienced to have a great teacher back in school, high school or in the university. In sports we might also have met a great coach that found the best in us and made us perform to our strengths.
Do you agree?
Durable behaviour change all starts in a safe learning environment and the coach being in “The Line of Sight” with the coachee.
The world renowned philosopher Søren Kirkegaard knew this also many years ago.
Let the following words inspire you:
In “On My Works as an Author”, second paragraph, chapter 1, A, §2. (1859), Søren Kierkegaard wrote:
“If One Is Truly to Succeed in Leading a Person to a Specific Place, One Must First and Foremost Take Care to Find Him Where He Is and Begin There.
This is the secret in the entire art of helping. Anyone who cannot do this is himself under a delusion if he thinks he is able to help someone else. In order truly to help someone else, I must understand more than he – but certainly first and foremost understand what he understands. If I do not do that, then my greater understanding does not help him at all. If I nevertheless want to assert my greater understanding, then it is because I am vain or proud, then basically instead of benefiting him I really want to be admired by him. But all true helping begins with a humbling.
The helper must first humble himself under the person he wants to help and thereby understand that to help is not to dominate but to serve, that to help is not to be the most dominating but the most patient, that to help is a willingness for the time being to put up with being in the wrong and not understanding what the other understands. (…)
If you can do it, if you can very accurately find the place where the other person is and begin there, then you can perhaps have the good fortune of leading him to the place where you are.
To be a teacher is not to say: This is the way it is, nor is it to assign lessons and the like. No, to be a teacher is truly to be the learner. Instruction begins with this, that you, the teacher, learn from the learner, place yourself in what he has understood and how he has understood it, if you yourself have not understood it previously, or that you, if you have understood it, then let him examine you, as it were, so that he can be sure that you know your lesson. This is the introduction; then the beginning can be made in another sense.” (end of quotation).
You will also need to understand the questions to be asked to motivate the coachee to change.
Starting with yourself:
Do you understand the psychology motivating your own behaviour change?
To inspire your thinking, you need to ask two questions if you want to achieve a major change in your own life.
If you want to:
Do a Marathon?
Change you interactive skills from average to outstanding?
You will need to feel both the pain and the consequences of not changing, and feel the strong values of reaching the expected milestone outcomes of the change you will commit to, and dare do.
So, ask yourself the following two questions:
1. Why change?
2. Is it worth changing?
Psychology wise the answer is in the equation in the quote above.
The solution, outcomes and gains of the journey in front of you needs to outweighs the initiating pain and the pain of the journey in front of you.
You will feel the true value of changing and take the first painful steps towards the new and brighter future you have set in your mind. You feel the milestone outcomes are worth pursuing.
Some people make it all the way alone
Some needs a coach
Some don’t make it because the equation tilted
Taking on the coaching role and responsibility in a behaviour change project, you will need persistence, patience and a deep understanding of this equation in the mind of your coachees – or else you will most likely fail.
These are some of the core elements and understanding you would need to start honing your coaching behaviours and master to become the best coach ever, in the mind of your coachees.
Anders credentials you will find here on Huthwaite Internationals website and on LinkedIN you will find recommendations and endorsements from clients, colleagues and friends during his career: